“So you are just a full-time mom?”
How do you guys feel when you hear this question? I get this question often from various kinds of people in varied tones. I am sick of being constantly judged for staying at home with my daughter.
“Don’t you want to do more than just being a stay at home mom?”.
So what? Is life all about money and getting promoted in your job? What if a mom chose to be there for her baby at home during her tender years to provide emotional support rather than sending her to day care?
Why do you judge a mother for putting her family first and career second? Not everybody’s perception about life is the same and we all are unique. If you chose career over your baby’s childhood, I am not going to judge you. I respect your decision and I expect the same from you too. Fine, I understand you are successful professionally but stop looking down on SAHM.
In any case, you think full-time moms are just wasting their time, please keep in mind that every mom strives for her child’s welfare and SAHM are going extra mile and sacrificing their career to ensure that their baby is healthy and happy.
So what if a woman doesn’t contribute to her household monetarily? Why is she treated inferior by her own family and friends? So, is a person’s job title or designation at work is what they are?
May be, they have reasons that are too personal to explain to you. What if they really wanted to work but situations are not in their favour? So stop asking intrusive questions.
What are your come backs when some one asks SAHM shaming questions? I mostly avoid entertaining such conversations as I feel that I don’t owe an explanation to such people. But sometimes when it goes overboard, it is good to put them in their places.
Also, let me know how you feel some one asks these questions and how you respond. You are stronger than you think mama, so don’t let someone make you feel any lesser.
Happy parenting!!
Mommy Me 
My mother was a stay at home mom until we were all in middle school or high school. My sisters are working moms. I don’t have kids. All of us have had people question our choices over the years, and our collective favorite response is a polite “Everyone needs to do what works best for themselves and their families”.
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That’s definitely a great answer! I truly wish people really understand that we are all unique and all our priorities are different and how nice it would be if they just stopped asking personal questions!
Thanks for taking time to read this post 🙂
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You said “Sometimes we want to work, but situation doesnt favors us”. Its true, being a married woman we cannot think about ourselves or our career only. But in today’s generation, it’s important to do something for ourselves, planning as per our schedule. Whether in joint family or single family, we need to fulfill our duties. We need to be updated with our passion, so that when we have completed our responsibilities, we can focus them on. Its impossible to start your career after a full break. But it would be easier to continue career, knowing recent changes and updations.
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I agree. I feel pursuing your passion and working for it is different from making money out of it. To be on a full-time job, having a career for yourself is definitely important but what I mean here is when you don’t have enough support system to take care of your baby or when the baby has special needs, mom has to be with the baby full-time. I am trying to convey in the post that, without knowing someone’s situation, it is not fair to judge a mother for not working or having a career. Like you said, a mother can still work on her passion/interest while staying at home but committing herself to a career may not be an option when the baby is so tiny or if the baby constantly needs her.
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Well said
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It would be the word ‘just’ that offends. You are so right, I remember 30 years ago, I had this conversation. At the time there was also a big debate about blaming parents for children’s poor behaviour. I asked if in the future they would be blaming the child minders, as some parents hardly saw their children 😂 Great post and go you!
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Ha ha 🙂
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I am right where you are on this! last year, prior to the delivery of our daughter, my husband and I made the decision that I stay home with our baby. Since being a full time stay at home mommy, I get “sideway” looks, and stupid, stupid comments that blow my mind days and weeks later!!! Most recently, I got asked by a former colleague, “what do you do now since resigning from work? What is your job now” Very proudly, I told her I am at home with my baby full time! Her response to that was, “Wow, it must be great to sit on your bum all day, and watch a baby!” My reply to that was this: Stay at moms have a multi faceted occupation, I am not just a stay at home mom, I am a home maker, a wife, a writer, a youtube content creator, a problem solver, a cheerleader, a bosslady, a life coach, a designer, a financial adviser, a chef, a super hero, a nurse, a teacher and an engineer, JUST to name a few things….and if you’re momma raised you right, you would know to shut your mouth when you don’t have any thing nice to say, keep your comments to yourself!!!!”
People can be mean and pass judgement to quickly on to others, but DO NOT believe…convince…or think you have to change yourself because of stupid comments! Stupid comments are just that, STUPID, it should never alter personal decision making, or dictate one’s actions or change one’s family dynamic.
For the next time someone pays me another stupid comment about me staying at home with my baby, moving forward, from this awful experience as described above, I choose to stand above it, smile proudly, and say exactly this, ” Have a good day, and God Bless You!”
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Wow that was one awesome answer!! More power to you, mommy! I am so proud of you. I am sure your little one will also be super proud of you and she is indeed blessed to have such a strong mommy. Btw, pls leave me your youtube channel link. I would love to check that out.
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Also, I would like to share your answer on my insta page, with due credits if you are okay. Let me know!
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absolutely, most def! yes, I am okay with it! Thank you so much! Here is my YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGsFKmgAwB2LsPny9mHlvrQ/
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never mind them. For many years I ran my own music and drama business, working 35 hours a week earning good money. Obviously I never gave myself breaks so I don’t count them in here to these hours. I still got all this , ‘When are you going back to work?’ stuff. Just you keep doing your stuff you way and the hell with these people. never let anyone tell you how to live or frown on how you do x
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Well said!
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People think it’s not work. Ohhh but it is. I did it for 2 weeks and was ready to get back to work. Granted, I was unemployed for that bit of time but goodness. It was a mess. LOL SAHMs get my respect. I have now worked from home for 6 years now and the pandemic on top of having my teenage daughter learning AND having to help her with her work (she has a moderate intellectual disability and autism) makes me want to hurl myself over the balcony. It’s hard work.
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Thank you so much for respecting SAHM and for acknowledging our struggle.
Having said that, what working moms are so hard working and juggling between work and home is not easy. Not to mention the mom guilt during the initial days of work after your maternity leave.
Every mom is assiduous and needs proper recognition!
You deserve special kudos for being an incredible mother to your daughter! HUGS!!
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