I came across a post in a Facebook group yesterday and it made me ponder so much about this generation’s parenting style. It had me thinking about how we are different from our previous generations and why we are so stressed and anxious all the time. I was also wondering how come our parents were so cool most of the time and how everything is so different now.
I immediately decided to make a post on this and I also felt this topic is the need of the hour. Parenting can be stressful for a number of reasons and it is important for us to analyse the factor that is causing you extreme pressure or distress. That element should be rightly treated or completely eliminated so that your parenting journey can be trouble-free.
According to me, the following are the main causes for stressful parenting and if we stop practising these things, we can happily bring our little bundles of joy up.
- We have unlimited number of online and offline resources that talk about parenting. These materials are overwhelming most of the times and they confuse parents so much that we end up having no idea about the right style of parenting.
- We forget very often that, every child is different and unique and so should be the parenting style. One size doesn’t fit everybody and if a routine/ schedule works for one person, that doesn’t mean it will work for you too. You have to tweak the plans according to your life-style and your child’s interests and characteristics.
- Social media these days have been doing more harm than good. Whenever we see an Instagram or a Facebook post about a child achieving milestones or where a child shows his extraordinary talents, we immediately start comparing that to our child. This is one of the best examples of worst parenting pattern.
- And we don’t stop it right there. We take it to the next level by feeling guilty for not doing enough for our kids and we start blaming ourselves. There starts your unnecessary tension and we sometimes take it out on our kids. Some parents end up coercing their kids to learn something that they are not interested in. I feel these parents are just punishing themselves and their kids just to please some random people on social media. If the child is genuinely interested, that’s a different case.
This is a very vast topic and all possible solutions cannot be packed in this single post. So, I am stopping right here for now and I will be sharing more about having stress-free parenting journey in the future posts. If you have more ideas on positive parenting, please do share and I will be more than happy to implement it.
Mommy Me 
Yes ma’am. It’s very important to know that every child is unique and we should work with that. Understanding each child helps and with God’s help in us. It makes it even better.
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Oh man social media is definitely toxic! But yes to every child is unique!! We have to be patient and understanding ❤️ Wonderful post!
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Thank you! I am so glad you agree with most of the points. Being patient is definitely important for raising emotionally strong kids ❤️ Parents should never lose our temper!
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So true! Understanding the kids is the key ❤️
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Well written.
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At 80+, having raised a boy and a girl, watching them raise our 7 grandchilcren, and now observing the parenting styles of two grandchildren with 3 great-grandchildren, I can speak from experience.
The bottom line – rule number one is unconditional love. I was not always wise enough in my twenties and thirties when I was a “young, working mom,” to ALWAYS demonstrate that unconditional love. There were times I lost my temper. Don’t beat yourself up when you do that. We’re human – and our children sometimes push the wrong buttons! But, if I do something in anger that I regret later, then I need to sit down with my child, look him/her in the eye, and apologize. So number one, is be unconditionally loving, with humility and grace – and teach our children by example to be forgiving.
Rule number two is TIME! Quality one-on-one time. Sometimes as a mom working full-time, I did not have the time and energy left at the end of the day to devote one-on-one time to my children (and I only had TWO!). But, nothing substitutes for quality one-on-one time… as infants it’s imperative. As toddlers, it’s equally important. As pre-teens, it’s crucial. As teenagers, if they don’t get it from us, they will seek it from peers in unhealthy ways. As adults, they still need our affirmations, our time, our expressions of appreciation for who they have become. TIME and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Those are the keys… God bless you for your post, “MommyMe” … and thank you for visiting JanBeek. I appreciate your affirmation..
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First of all, thank you so much Mam, for taking time to pour in your valuable thoughts. I am so glad about that. It’s so good to hear parenting stories from people from different generations. Definitely you all have done a great job raising wonderful humans.
Most importantly, you have realized what is right and what is wrong and how to deal with kids of different age groups.
And those two rules are just what parents of this age need to hear and thanks for that!!!!
I really appreciate you for taking time to share what you learned in your parenting journey and I completely agree with all your views!
We parents often forget how blessed we are and your message to show unconditional love and to spend quality time with those precious little humans is such an eye opener!
Thanks you Mam and you have a great blog and I am so glad I got to know about it ❤️
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Thank you for your beautiful response to my comments. May God bless you and your children every day! ❤
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❤️❤️
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I tried to apply the same rigid schedule to my second baby, as it worked amazingly for my first. My second is completely different and does not respond well to it. She eats and sleeps when she pleases. I think it’s important to relax and just accept that you are trying your best. No need to beat myself up because she has no routine at 8 weeks old.
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Yes! Every child is unique and that’s the first thing every parent must understand. Being hard on ourselves and feeling that we are not doing enough is definitely not going to make us a better parent. So going with the flow and understanding the kids is the only way to stress-free parenting.
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My kids are now in their 20s struggling through different points in their adulthoods. Looking back, my biggest mistake as a parent wasn’t wanting to do more for them. It was doing TOO much. I didn’t let them learn from their mistakes when the stakes were low. I wanted everything to be perfect for them and hated to see them hurting. Doing too much and not letting kids fail can lead to anxiety and insecurity in our kids. Do less and you’re doing more!
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Wow! I completely agree with your point and my parents did the same thing to us. I realized only recently how important it is to teach the kids to grow up, be independent , be responsible without interfering too much. My parents were too protective of us , always spoon fed and we were never really exposed to real world. I am not complaining my parents but it’s exactly why “Adulting” has been really tough for me. Anyway, I will make sure to not to pass on the tradition.
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Thanks again for your reply. I wanted to add few more points so adding now. Though I agree with your point, I would want you to not feel guilty for whatever your children are going through. I am sure you must have done a thousand other wonderful things for them that they are really proud of and just focus only on the positive. Just continue being the awesome mom!!
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Thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
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You make some very good points! I try to keep reminding myself that each child different. So I try not to fret about what he should be doing based on what others say.
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Thanks and what you said is totally right!
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Such interesting points, completely agree every child is different. What I have found the most useful for me its to trust my instincts, everyone has an opinion we can listen to them but at the end of the day no one knows our children better than we do.
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Thanks for taking time to read the post. Can’t agree more to you about trusting our instincts. Being surrounded by pool of information and when not knowing what is right and what is wrong I think going with the gut feeling is the best thing to do!
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Stressful for sure. Thank God it’s also a blessing to be a parent.
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Can’t agree more!
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Very well expressed! Understanding children is absolutely the key.
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Thank you!
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You know Mommy I have two children now and my bad mistake as a parent is to do all for them, my mom keep saying let your children do it and learn from their mistakes this is the right way for them to grow and learn.
God bless you mommyme it is an interesting article.
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Thanks for your valuable comment and I am glad you found this article interesting. I guess it’s normal for moms to do everything for them. We think no one can take better care of the kids. It’s not a bad thing at all and don’t be hard on yourself. You only wanted the best things to happen to your kids! But it’s always better to let them be independent after few years but just be there and keep an eye to ensure they are doing it right!!
It’s never too late and you can still train them!
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Good points! Well done.
One thing is sure; every child is unique, and no one in this world can understand children better than moms. They have a superpower gift called INSTINCT.
Thank you.
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Thank you so much for your valuable comment . Of course, moms are the best!!
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